1. You let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Yellow Pages value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "Out of Your League" bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying "Hey guys watch this".
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia Leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior high prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines".
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the house of tattoo's.
16. You cant get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.