The Yamaha Road Star Warrior Forum

HURD:

I'm stumped. My brother is shooting heroin......What can I do?

Some really good advice has been given here...

I'll add just to clarify that now that he has gone down the road of shooting heroin, this will be a physical dependency and it will be almost impossible to break without professional help or a very determined person the later of these are VERY rare.

Don't just check your program options well, but also verify that he really wants to go to one... if he doesn't, he'll just go through it to please you/family and as soon as he gets a chance he'll fall back into his old habits. He needs to realize first that he needs help and he needs to ask for it. I've seen SO many cases where the addict is force to a program and it almost never works they just say/do whats needed to get out.

Even though I believe that help from your church is always good, some of these programs try to push religion and if the addict does not share these views it would also be fruitless. I'm not knocking these religious content programs... as long as the addict shares the same religious beliefs.

After any program he will need constant attention/love from family and friends not just to check up on him but to invite to join in activities/gatherings to get him back into what a normal lifestyle should be.

Good advice Eric!

I can't give you any better advice then what's already been given but just wanted to wish you luck and let you know how much I hope it works out well for him and your family.

I'd like to thank everyone for thier support & advise. I will be talking to him tonight. Sadly, I am prepared to walk away if he refuses help. He has been on a downhill slope for about 4 years now with no signs of recovery. I know he has to want to stop, but I have a hard time sitting back & watching him kill himself. Jamie is a real nice guy & probally the best mechanic I know. He is just consumed with drugs to the point that he isn't even the same person anymore. Thanks again guys, I'll keep ya posted.

Sad part is to get off the drugs he will have to move away from all his aquaitances or it will just be a matter of time. One night after being clean for 6 months will destroy it all. Drug so called Friends suck. I would lock up my valuables too. Get him out of dodge after the detox. Put him on a 14 day cruise and get him a new job somewhere away from the normal bunch. Throw away his cell phone and get him a new number.  Invest in your brother I did and it paid off. I wish he would have paid me back but I now have a healthy some what responsible brother. Good luck man this is gonna take alot of effort but will be worth it in the end..

I have to bump this post because I believe in the power of prayer. The more of us praying for Matt's brother the sooner something is going to happen. pray that Matt's brother see that chasing the needle will eventually kill him. Pray he will accept the help being offered to him. pray guys...pray hard for Matt's brother. Matt I didn't post your brother's name purposely for his annonimity. If you choose to you can mention his name so we can all pray specificaly for him.

OldMan:

Sorry to hear that.  Let him know you love him, you're there for him and will do whatever is necessary to help him get through rehab.  Also tell him you are not his keeper.  If he won't at least try to help himself then stay away.  An addict, no matter who he or she was before, is now nothing but an addict.  They will do anything for the next fix.  If that means stealing from you then so be it.  He is no longer the person you knew and won't be again until he gets off the drugs.  Get him help, or get away from him.  

No matter what, it's not going to be easy. I'm a bit jaded because I worked in a health department and spent plenty of time in the methadone clinic. Now, I was not one of the clinicians but I saw the same people day after day, year after year because methadone is not and was never designed to be a cure or even a pathway to cure.

I feel for you and hope everything goes OK, it's not going to be easy for either of you.

 If it were my bro's, I would be opening a can of tough love on their arses, fortunatly I've got eightteen and twenty years on them respectivly(I arrived on the scene a little early)Keep an eye on him and find him a program, you would be supprised what rehab can do, I have a life long friend that I have known since the age of 6, he ended up there a couple times. The last trip, he met a girl. They now have 4 kids and are doing very well for themselves. Finding something or someone new will be essential in recovery.

dano102:

Finding something or someone new will be essential in recovery.

 Rehab, then a cross country motorcycle trip with his bro

gchalifo:

Matt!, if this sounds like a television show it's because it very much is REAL...the show is call INTERVENTION.  and it works!!!

I am in recovery myself. An organized intervention usaually is the best way to go. by organized I mean everything should be as prearranged as possible.

You'll need to contact several rehabs to find out which are the best to address his specific needs, ie, alcohol, herion, meth, dual-additions etc. Once you boil it down to 1-2 rehabs that will take him, you'll want to set up a meeting with him. Get your immediate family involved and get together to discuss how you are all being impacted by your brothers actions. You all need to be on the same page in terms of how you will treat your brother if/when he contacts you for money, housing, food etc etc. At some point in the near future he will bottom out and become 1 of 2 things, desperate for help, or dead!

Once the family is ready, and the rehab(s) are ready, schedule a meeting with your brother to join you and your family at a location of your choice. At the meeting you'll all want to let him know how much you love him and you want to offer help. Let him know how he has impacted the family, each person should have his/her say in terms of how they feel about how he has impacted them.

Each member should offer the same help, which is you will take him NOW to the rehab and check him in for treatment.

Don't be fooled Matt! 30 day treatment programs today are known as "SPIN DRY" programs. They get the head clear, get the person out of critical withdrawls (detox) and then cut them loose.

Studies today have shown it takes at least 12 weeks to change the human psychy....ie, habitual behaviors and break routines and establish new routines.

6-12 month programs have the best results when followed up with additioanl sober living facility time where the subject lives and has day to day normal responsibilities, continued counciling and therapy. The better rehabs will have this aftercare type programs which will help the patient transition back into normal, responsible living. Then it's up to him.

I highly reccomend a continued recovery program of some sort as a part of his everyday life style after he gets on the right path. Relapse prevention is the most critical part of aftercare. If this is not included, your brother will be right back where he is today at some point in the future.

Recovery is real! and alice and well. Recovery is not for people who NEED it....its for people who WANT it!!!!!

PM me any time brother to takl more about this.

 

One last thing....there is this thing called "codependency"..... I define it as allowing the actions of other people to define who I am and how I make my decisions. Your brothers actions can not be allowed to control you and your family. It's the most difficult thing to deal with and live with. I deal with it everyday as my 26 year old son is in rehab as we speak...for the second time as he didn't take it serious the 1st time.

You must be able to accept the fact that while your brother is using, you won't hear from him generaly until he NEEDS something...money, food etc.

You have a life, probably a wonderful family that all want to be healthy and happy. Don't let your brother drag the entire family down.

offer the help to him when ready. If he rejects the help. You all need to move on...as hard as it is. Just like OLDMAN said....

good luck to you brother...and keep us posted.

I attend AA 3-5 times a week, and a program called Celebrate Recovery to maintain my sobriety and relapse prevention.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6uJ6Kdfwi0&feature=fvw

I have 5 yrs, 1 month and 7 days of recovery between myself and my last drink/drug.

The addict must want to stop to be able to be helped. As long as there is a lurking notion that he can control his useage, there will be no chance of recovery.

I would ask him if he wants to stop. If he says no, then unfortunately you have two choices: Organized Family Intervention or wait until he finds his bottom. They say there are three places an addict will end up: Jails, Institutions, or Death. If he's not convinced of the grave nature of his situation, he will find himself in one of these places sooner than later.

I hope that you and your family are willing to intervene to save his life, if he can't see the reality of what he's doing to himself.

I also hope that you and your family will look into Alanon. It is a program designed for the friends and family of alcoholics/addicts. You can learn how to deal with the addict and your own feelings in a healthier way by using the same 12 steps as the recovering addict/alcoholic.

You could also find out where there are Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings in your brothers area, and go to one. You can stay as a visitor, and ask some "old timers" some pointed questions about what to do. Maybe a couple of fellows would do a 12th Step call for your Brother.

Pray, pray, pray.... it works, it really does. Even if you don't believe in anything, the Universe accepts counterfeit coins.

solid Justice!

Hey guys. I'm happy to report that without rehab, my brother has been sober for over a month. I had every family member & friend within his reach tell him he has to get MY permission for any money or favor he needed. Let's just say the buck stopped here. He was po'ed when everyone said, you have to ask Matt first. Of course I would say no don't do it. He figured out rather quickly was rock bottom was. I was sitting down there waiting for him. Once he quit lieing things got better for him. I'm doing my best to keep him busy and keep him on track to become a functioning member of society. It was tough at first, but he's starting to actually act like his old self again. He has beat the withdraw & have no desire to do heroin again. He has actually even quit smoking weed which I didn't think would ever happen. For once in a long time he is actually happy.

I would like to thank everyone again for thier advise, concern & prayer. We're not out of the woods just yet, but it's a heck of a start.

I would like to extend a big thanks to Gary (gchalifo) for his support during this time. Please keep Gary & his family in your thoughts & prayers as well.

Thats great to hear! You and your family/friends have done a great deed for your brother. ANd he has done a great job also! Congrats on the progress!